Key insights from the conversation

Teresa’s background and coaching journey

• Life-changing event: diagnosed with breast cancer at 36, leading to a shift in focus to empower people

• Coaching focus: transitioned from project management to leadership coaching and patient advocacy

• Current work: balances roles at IMD and running her own company, focusing on coaching cancer patients and leadership development

Key concepts in coaching

• Human connection: importance of seeing people as human beings, not tasks

• Curiosity: asking meaningful questions to connect and understand others

• Assumptions: challenging and letting go of biases to discover the true potential in others

• Feedback: giving and receiving feedback as a gift to foster growth and trust

Coaching and cancer

• Empowerment: helping patients regain control and navigate their journey

• Identity: addressing the impact of cancer on personal identity and relationships

Leadership insights

• Inspiration over orders: effective leaders inspire and connect rather than merely giving orders

• Building trust: creating a safe environment where team members feel valued and understood

• Feedback culture: encouraging open communication and constructive feedback for continuous improvement

• Emphasis on kindness, curiosity, and less judgment in personal and professional interactions

Full transcript

Here is the entire conversation transcript, edited for clarity and conciseness. Here's also the link to the conversation on LinkedIn Live.

Roberto

Hello. Hi, Teresa. It's great to see you.

Teresa

Good to see you! Good to see you, Roberto!

Roberto

I'm very excited to do this live with you today.

Teresa

Thank you for the opportunity. I'm very honored.

Roberto

Thank you, Teresa, for being here, your generosity, and your presence. We've been thinking about doing this for a long time.

Thank you to the people now connecting on the live, which I won't look at now in the chat. We are not going to look into the chat for the moment. So, I will close this window that we have up here, and we will look into the chat later. We will pause in the middle of the conversation so everyone who is connected, first of all, thank you for your time. This is our most precious thing; we cannot get it back and must make the most of it. We hope this time we are sharing with you is worth this investment.

We will check the chat in the end. We will close it if someone says something to check if everything works. So, I already see something here. So yeah. OK. So, let's forget about the chat for the moment. This conversation is very special to me.

You have been my coach for the last year. You're responsible for introducing me to the beautiful coaching world, especially co-active coaching. We met in leadership training in 2021. We had just two quick sessions in this leadership program.

I remember it vividly; it was our first session. I was like, ba- ba -ba -ba -ba -ba, explaining so quickly, so many things, so action-oriented.

And you said, Roberto, stop one moment and tell me, how are you feeling? And I look at you and am very puzzled, and I say, what are you saying, Teresa? Yeah, I'm feeling good. I ate, I slept well. And you say, no, no, no. I'm not referring to this. How are you feeling as a human being? And I was taken aback by the question. I didn't know how to answer.

Teresa

And I remember that you wanted to go back into telling me all your actions, and I was like, OK, can we go back to what's important, please?

Roberto

Exactly, exactly. And this is already one thing, and you see it gently but firmly; you take back the person to what's essential. And this is also something that you did amazingly. Thanks to that, I was even more curious about coaching. And then, in 2022, I was interested in doing systemic coaching, and I approached a school, an academy.

And then they told me, OK, why don't you consider also doing something on one-on-one coaching? Because this is a basis. It's like, you can combine both. It's wonderful. When I did my first fundamentals course of co-active coaching, I was like, wow, it was three days, and please give me more. So I said, OK, systemic coaching can wait. Let's go all in and fast forward to the co-active. I'm now in the final phase of my certification, and you have been my coach during this process for almost one year since August last year, and I'm so grateful for that. I feel so lucky, but I'm also inquisitive because since you are my coach, we always talk about me and never about you. So now, after this long introduction, it was worth it because you are so important to me now. I would love to hear your story, Teresa.

Teresa

Wow, thank you for asking. First, thank you for sharing your feelings about our coaching process. You've done well. Your journey is fantastic. That's all I want to say now, and we'll probably build on that.

My story.

Well, it started when I used to work in project management; OK, when I began my professional career, I first started in communication, and soon, I started traveling. So, I went to the European Commission and traveled there in Brussels. Then, I was approached by Oracle, the IT company, and I went to London to work on project management. It was the dot com period. So we were very focused on launching new projects. And then, I was invited to go to Silicon Valley. They asked me if I wanted to take the project to Silicon Valley. And I said no because I needed to feel safe and connected to my team back then. My team was in Geneva, so I decided to move and go there.

When I was in Geneva, I went to IMD as a participant. And for me, it was like a wow moment. It was an eye-opener. So, I returned to Oracle, and we kept in touch with IMD. I would write case studies with them from being at Oracle.

At some point, I left Oracle, set up my own company, and returned to Spain. That was a five-year journey, and it was again amazing until that time when I said I was going to move on. I sold it, I sold the company, and I would start working at IMD as a communication.

But I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I was 36. And that's a tipping point for me because it helped me realize how important it is to empower people. So, when I was going through that, it was essential to say that I was ruling my life. It's not the cancer. And I felt very empowered thanks to that. And I wrote a book, and well, to make the story short, I ended up creating a charity organization to help people who wanted to be moms after breast cancer because that's what I did after breast cancer.

I recovered and then said I wanted to be a coach to offer them support. And that's how I started. I went to that fundamentals. I fell in love with it. And I was already working at IMD because I had recovered. So, I worked in project management at IMD, and when I found coaching, it was initially only for women with cancer. I said, OK, this is what I want to do. In IMD, it was straightforward to reinvent myself and find my way into leadership. And that's how it happened. And so I've been working in parallel from that time, which is maybe, I don't know, 10 to 12 years ago at IMD, a lot of leadership, and also I had my part of working as a patient advocate, working with cancer patients, and working on my PhD to research how professional coaching can empower people with cancer. Now, I have company and play with both things simultaneously.

Roberto

Thank you, Teresa, for sharing this. From your big smile when you explain it, it looks like an exciting and fantastic journey. The real thing I hear is that, like some common point from the beginning to the story from the end, it is the human connection and impacting others. How does this work? What meaning does this have for you?

Teresa Ferreiro

What a great question; thank you. Being a coach and working with people is like a call, especially working with people who have cancer and with leaders. I need to connect because connection helps us go deeper in our work.

It doesn't matter if we have two sessions or ten sessions. We need to create a safe environment so you can feel free to explore without being judged and to take risks.

Roberto

And when you say connection and going deeper, you see, it reminds me that we don't need seven hours to do that. And the proof is what I shared at the beginning of the conversation, how we met in just half an hour. If you are interested and you're curious about the other person, if you see them as a human being, not as a task on the checklist. You are a project management expert who knows all about checklists and tasks. Perhaps even because of this, you know how a project works, but at the same time, there's a person behind the project. When you connect with the person, even if five minutes before or after a meeting, you have a quick call: OK, I saw you; perhaps you were a little bit worried. What's happening with you? Did I say something that made you uncomfortable? I want to know.

That's an example of five minutes. You establish a connection and, as you said, talk about trust. Trust also starts by showing that we have some doubt that we are a mistake, and then we can see what happens.

Teresa Ferreiro

And what you're saying is super important. It comes from our curiosity. The connection builds based on our questions because we care about the person before us.

Sometimes, when working with my clients, I ask them questions, and we talk about leadership and how they have to deal with their employees; we talk about how they can connect better and more. They say, how can I ask these questions? It's invasive. And maybe it is, maybe it's not, maybe our own belief. What I observed is that people like to be seen.

Asking questions is a way to show that you're interested and that you see the other person or at least one.

Roberto

And if you ask the question, it's not like, again, it's not a checklist. What's your biggest challenge, Teresa? And what, OK, because this is number two on my perfect manager checklist, and I'm very adept at this.

No, you can ask whatever you like. I know that you had this. What did you do here? And what's exciting you now? Whatever, whatever questions. This is also connected to coaching and how coaching is not only one-on-one but also informal. One of the biggest, maybe the most significant, discoveries in coaching is that you always see amazing things in people. You have to ask.

You also have to mention one thing: our assumptions and our biases. If you leave your assumptions and labels outside the conversation and say, OK, am I willing to be surprised by this person? I have a label, for example, OK, Teresa is a project manager, she will be very rigorous, et cetera, et cetera. You may be super creative, and that will not diminish the other things that you are. So, even if you have a label.

This level may be correct. I'm very excited about technology and AI and all these things. And at the same time, I love this thing. I love coaching. I love listening to people's stories, and, OK, we can be more things. If you are willing to be surprised and are looking for these things, you will find them.

I had another little anecdote when I was expecting my two children. When my wife was pregnant, we were looking into the street, and we saw pregnant women everywhere. It was like, what's happening? Now, everyone is waiting for kids, and it's the same world, but you're more attuned to something because you are experiencing that. And so you see that. And that's the same with people. If you are looking for brilliance, you see brilliance because there is. It's the same world.

Teresa

Yeah, it's how you focus your attention and where you put your energy. Based on that, the world is there waiting for you.

Roberto

Yeah. Now, I may share one more personal thing from our coaching relationship. I remember when you said it's how you want to see the world. You probably also remember this: the negativity bias. I have it. We all have it, exactly. I have it because I'm human, and all humans have it. And.

Teresa

We all have it.

Roberto

Even if 95 % of our day is fantastic and 5 % is not, we focus on the not-so-amazing. And we need a physical reminder or someone who tells you, OK, how was your day? But don't tell me only the 5%; tell me the 95 % first and then the rest.

Teresa

The funny thing about the negativity bias is that it still happens even when you know about it. So it's not only about becoming aware—becoming aware is the first step—but also about playing with and balancing it.

Roberto

You talk about relationships, coaching, and leadership. How does all of this fit into the corporate world? What's the connection between leadership and your leadership work?

Teresa

Into the corporate world?

Roberto

Yeah, in what you see daily as a leadership and executive coach.

Teresa

There are many types of leaders and many ways to understand leadership. Some people still think that a leader and a good leader are the ones who give orders. When we talk about coaching and leadership, the way I understand it, and well, not only me but many people, you see it all over the place, and this is why we're having this conversation as well.

We talk about inspiring others, being curious, and connecting. If you want a high-performance team, you must ensure they follow you and are there for you because they trust you. That's how they will give their best.

If you give them orders and they don't trust you, they will do what is required. So it's about purpose, it's about seeing the person again, it's about making sure that they feel that they are contributing and that they find a reason to go to work every day and that they find as well that they are the best person they can be because the fact is that we are good people. We all are. And that's one of the beauties. Again, the beauty of coaching is how we see people. As you said earlier, people are complete and have good intentions. And focusing on that is, yeah.

It's very powerful, and to answer your question, it's very powerful in the corporate world to help people realize that we are moving; we are changing the paradigm into a new place where we need people who care for others, who inspire others, and who can make sure that they follow because they believe in what they are doing.

Roberto

I 100 % agree with you. It's like between "I must" and "I want" to do that. And when you mention the purpose, it may be a very abstract word for someone.

What's your purpose? When someone asked me my purpose, I said I didn't know my purpose. What's the purpose of your company? Then, you first say that it's to make money. No, that's not the purpose. That's the mean. That's the quick version. Next, but again, it is going to the purpose idea.

It also connects with curiosity because if you are a team leader, you must be curious and see what motivates and motivates a person and what you love. It's like playing to you and grueling work for others, and the contrary may be true. Then there's someone who loves this. I want to do this all day and again with curiosity, not assuming that people will like what I like and vice versa. What you don't like, people don't like it, and see what happens. And this is beautiful because when he did this, somehow, magically, the pieces of the puzzle came together. Most of them, OK, there is always, again, as there is always this piece that doesn't fit, but most of the things come together because you create the space and you live. Also, do you trust that people want to do a good job? No one wakes up in the morning and says, OK, now I'm going to do a very sloppy job today, and I'm going to work my chair for eight hours, and I'm going to park my brain in the office and then retake it in eight hours. No, no one thinks that.

Teresa

You mentioned assumptions earlier, and it's the second time you've mentioned assumptions. How do you challenge your assumptions?

Roberto

I'm still learning to challenge my assumptions constantly. First of all, I appreciate the feedback very much. Because, and significantly, and, of course, you, as a coach, helped me so much to challenge my assumption. And I'm only conscious of my assumption once you say, Roberto, do you see that you are trying to do this? For example, there is an anecdote that is a very personal one, but I think it's relevant because it doesn't have to do with work; it's a personal life when we discuss an issue, not a problem, a situation with my parents in January.

And I was telling you, I want to do this; I want my parents to do that. And I did it from a place of care and love, and I wanted them for the best possible life. But I assumed that what was good for me was good for them. Again, as I said five minutes ago, I am responsible for that. So again, here it's so easy to say that, and then in real life, it's not. But I was saying that I was seeing my parents through my lens, and I was thinking of bringing them to where I am physically, emotionally, and in everything else. And then you told me, Roberto, do you notice that you are trying to bring them where you are and putting a lot of effort into that? How would it be to go there instead and see the world through their eyes? And that's one of the most significant learning experiences, and, of course, it happens repeatedly.

But when you know things one time, the second one is easier, and you catch yourself quicker and quicker, putting labels and making assumptions. And with this training, we never end learning until we die. It's curious because now we're talking about assumption, and there is a very brilliant book called The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, which includes the first, second, and third agreements. The third agreement is never made: don't make any assumptions because assumptions close your eyes to reality.

Teresa

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, yeah.

You mentioned something significant: meeting the person where they are. I will take this back to my other area of expertise, working with people with cancer, because that's one of the critical aspects of the relationship.

And I think that's part of what makes it so unique because when you have cancer, I mean, well, so many things can happen. You can feel it in so many different ways. Therefore, knowing your coach will be there for you where you are is a huge relief. It's a huge relief.

You don't have to pretend; you don't have to be anybody else but who you are because you're perfect the way you are—we all are. So, understanding that we are the ones as coaches walking that path of getting to see you, putting on your glasses, and exploring that space—yeah, it's part of the success, I would say.

Roberto

You see, we are going from personal life, work, and coaching; of course, it's all connected, and I'm curious to see what's the connection and how you experience an event so crucial as cancer in the workplace and what's some of the insights that you had in doing this year.

Teresa

Yeah, let me briefly explain where I am and why. I mentioned that I went into coaching because I wanted to help women who wanted to be moms after cancer. Then, when I saw co-active coaching and coaching itself, it was like an eye-opener for me. Then, I realized that it would be beneficial for cancer patients. And at that time, all the tools were focused on executives, mainly executives, who had challenges. And is there a more significant challenge than fighting for your life? So, you're confronted with so many questions and situations.

That's when you need most of your full strength and your self-confidence, and people, when they get diagnosed, feel lost, so that's when the research started when I thought we need to adapt this to people with cancer because it's so valuable, it's so helpful it can't remain only in the corporate world we need to take it back to those people, and that's how I started and the similarities.

They are huge and adapt those tools to people with specific challenges, such as dealing with their bodies, environment, medical team, and new reality.

How can we equip them so they can make the best out of that? And it's not about being super cheerful or naive in terms of what cancer is because I had it. I know what we are talking about. It's not superficial. It's not shallow. At the same time, we choose how we want to experience it. And that's our power. That's our gift as human beings. It's up to us to take control; we equip them through coaching. They can reconnect with who they are. So they can use each tool they have in their toolkit whenever needed.

Roberto

Wow, it's beautiful because you say first you must reconnect with yourself. I'm 42, and this should be done when you're 20 because I've been living a good life, a perfect life. I'm pleased about that. I'm fortunate, also. I always said that my best decision was to be born in Italy in the 1980s. So I'm so lucky. And I chose that, of course. If I could discover all this when I was 20, a teenager, I would have all these tools and be much better equipped.

Imagine that you have a big challenge, such as an illness that can threaten your life, and you have never been connected to all of these things. So you have to do it in one of the worst possible moments, and at the same time, this gives even more value to what you are doing because you are doing it in the moment they need it the most.

Teresa

Yeah, exactly. You're saying that if I had known when I was 20 if you had known when you were 20, you wouldn't have been open to it.

And yeah, cancer, or any other challenging situation, is an opportunity. And yeah, as you're saying, when we talk about coaching and cancer, we are talking about a lot more than telling people when to take a pill. That's not what we do. It's about who you want to be. Who do you want to be during this process? How do you want your world and your life to be from now on? As we said earlier, we know that there are circumstances that we need to learn to accept, and then it's how we experience those circumstances and what we want to do with them.

Roberto

Absolutely. And you know, this reminds me of another thing. And it connects so much with another thing that I have here, which is, you recognize this: how can I, even in these circumstances, play not to lose? How can I play to win? And the question is, how can you play to win when you know you have three months to live? And you know it, it's a reality. What is playing to win in this situation?

Teresa

Is this a question that you want me to answer? Because each of us needs to find that answer. What I could say is that playing to win is

It would help if you made your living during that period the way you wish to, without letting fears, others, or the social context do it for you or oppose you.

Roberto

One other thing that also connects to this is asking how you want the people around you to remember you in this moment. How do we want to remember you? And not only in this extreme situation but if we take it to our day-to-day lives, OK, now we are far across the course. We are talking about something that doesn't happen so often, but it happens. And we have also to normalize that it's part of our lives.

Teresa

It happens to one in two people, so it happens often.

Roberto

Exactly. And you know, this is... I'm surprised by this. I didn't have the... Again, the assumption. You say one of every two. So, it's like we are in a room of 10 people. Five of us are going to experience this. Wow.

Teresa

It's powerful, huh? And we're not ready for it.

And we don't know how to behave when we have someone who has a cancer diagnosis. What would you do if you had someone on your team who told you you have cancer? How would you feel?

Roberto

Well, I will feel overwhelmed at first. And I will ask myself, how can I be there for this person? What do they need from me?

And yeah, it's... And also on the other hand, if I were the one having that, the first thing I would think about is, first of all, what would I like to be treated as? And what would I need for other people? And then what would I like to show and express to this person? Besides, full support and flexibility are apparent, but I would go deeper. And when I see, for example, this is my, in me, if I were that, I would struggle to feel that I'm the same person. That I'm not, for example, that I'm not less than before.

I'm the same person; I have the same mind and energy, but something in my body doesn't work.

Teresa

Yes, and thank you for saying that because what you're talking about is identity, and when we have a situation like this, our identity somehow crumbles. And it's like, who are we now? It's the same as when you're an executive, and you think you are what you do; you're not; you're far more than that. So you have cancer; who are you? And how do you want people to see you? I worked with so many people with cancer, I don't know, I haven't come to them. And I can tell you that most of them fear to go and give their diagnosis because they don't want others to say, poor you. So they don't want to feel that they are being put in the victim.

Roberto

It's like an armor, no? I don't want to take off my armor; I don't want to show and maybe even hide. When you said that, I may be tempted to hide away.

Teresa

Yeah, because I want to keep my identity, and I still am the same person. And what happens is that because we don't know how to treat people with cancer, we start making assumptions. And we start thinking that they need to hear poor you, you are so strong, or, I'm not going to copy you on the emails because you don't want to be disturbed, rather than asking. And everything goes back to the essence.

First, as a person with cancer, you need to work on, again, who you want to be out there. What's the identity you want to keep or to create? And work on it. And then, as the person from the outside, as the colleague, how do you want to be there for that person? What are the questions that you want to ask? How do you want them to feel? And it's a journey based on communication, trust, and good intent. You asked and said something earlier, and I would like to go back to it even though it could be more coaching style because we're currently dancing. I want to bring it back, which was what you said about what you do when you only have three months left. How do you take the most out of them, or how do you experience them?

I can share a couple of situations that I had with clients. One of them, the first time she had cancer, was 40 years old, and she came to me, and she was so upset, so mad, so angry. Her mom had died from cancer, and she was like, this can't be happening to me. Her anger wouldn't allow her to see anything else.

So we were working, and she started opening up to the extent that, at some point, she was cancer-free, and she allowed herself to be on good terms with her own body so she could welcome an intimate relationship. She had a partner; they bought a house together. She was an architect. She designed the house, and she had about two years to share her life with this other person, this man. Eventually, the cancer came back, and finally, she passed away. Her partner, her boyfriend, or her husband called me and said, thank you so much because I had the opportunity to meet her and spend the best three years of my life, and the coaching allowed her to experience life from a different place.

Roberto

Again, thank you for sharing this story; this connects with something you said before: it was the gift that some event or situation had for you.

Teresa

And what's the impact we have on others? Because when I was coaching this person, Silvina, it was her work, right? It was her life. It was her cancer. And it was her loving experience. It wasn't about him at all. He wasn't part of the picture.

And then he felt grateful; it was also a gift for him. Silvina impacted so many people, not only on him but many others. Her journey was terrific. And that's what we all do. We all have an impact on others.

Roberto

Thank you also for bringing this up because this is something that, again, and dancing from the personal to the professional, when you are at work, for example, maybe we say, and you share this with me, I remember, and I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I'm so thankful for that because even if you are in, maybe we are in a difficult moment, maybe there's something that's not working out, or maybe again, you're focusing on this 5 % that's not OK, there's nothing, whatever is the situation we always have an impact. We are in a meeting, we enter a meeting, maybe you're one of the 20 times, but perhaps you made me take this perspective, maybe you're one of the 20 times, but possibly one of the other 19 sees you, sees you smiling authentically, and you make her his day better. So you have an impact.

And if you don't show up, close your camera, or are like this, what's your impact on these people? So, we always have more impact than we initially think. We don't have to be the company's CEO to have an effect. Of course, the CEO has much impact—they multiply. But at the same time, it doesn't mean we cannot impact our circle daily.

Teresa

Yeah, absolutely. That makes me think of something we often explore when we talk to leaders: giving feedback.

Giving feedback is one of these things that many people don't feel comfortable about because it confronts them with a challenging situation or a difficult conversation. What are they going to think? Am I going to hurt them? So, if I have to give feedback, I focus on how I am feeling and how I will make the other person feel. And it's my fears and my what if, what if, what if. Yeah. Something we don't think about or only sometimes think about is what happens if we give feedback. What happens if I don't tell this person that they could improve, I don't know, the way they organize their PowerPoint presentation? Something simple. Suppose you don't tell them.

Roberto

Yeah, you're focusing on yourself, not on the other. Yes.

Teresa

They may continue to work on not-great presentations for three years. Whereas if you tell them, hey, again, it's a gift, feedback is a gift.

Roberto

Yeah, absolutely. And what you said, Teresa, reminds me so much of a metaphor we love: putting the fish on the table. Absolutely. And you explain, what happens if you don't put the stinky fish on the table? It rots down. This metaphor is from George Kohlrieser, and it's precisely what happens.

And then you go through the smelly and bloody mess, but then the person knows. We talk about trust. When you say this with respect, of course, but at the same time with a bit of daring, OK, I will dare you with this, and you may take it or leave it. It's a gift. You may throw it away in the trash, but I will give it to you. Do whatever you want with this gift.

You are doing a presentation that could look more professional to me. What do you say? OK. But then, at least, you know where this person stands. You know what they're thinking. So you trust that the next time they will tell you, and the next time it doesn't feel so, mmm, because you did it and nothing happened.

The person didn't take off a knife and stab you, of course, it's like, OK, and again, you're in your fear, what are they going to do, and what are they going to react, and maybe they know all along, and perhaps they even thank you, OK, thank you, yes, I knew I was doing this because I was waiting for you to tell me. After all, I've been going through difficult moments in my personal life. I know I'm doing a sloppy job, and I know how you can help me with this. And then you discover something, maybe, even.

Teresa

Yeah, absolutely. And the way you're saying it's OK, you must do it from a place of respect. So again, I'm going to quote George and Susan and this excellent book they've written, Care to Dare, which talks about how you first need to care for your people so you can build that trust that will allow you to go one step further, to dare to tell them a thing, dare to ask for more results for more, more from them. And you can dare when you have first built that safety space by caring for others.

Roberto

Teresa, what's the thing or project that excites you the most now?

Teresa

I'm writing a book. I have two projects. One is my company, Soul Reconnect, where we help people with cancer within the organization, and that's very exciting. It's been running for a couple of years, so now I'm focused on another one, which is the book I'm writing. Yeah, and that's almost done, and yeah, it's the beginning of something for me.

Roberto

Give some spoiler about it.

Teresa

The book is about how coaching can help and empower people with cancer. So, what we've been talking about regarding how we can use tools to address specific situations and topics is covered in that book.

The primary goal, of course, is to, as we said earlier, equip people so they can experience cancer and be the ones driving the car in this situation. But there's a bigger goal for me: to transform the way we perceive cancer in the world, the way we perceive people with cancer, and also within the organization, the role of our organizations.

As we said earlier, one in two will have cancer at some point in their lives. It's happening more and more. Companies need to be accountable for creating awareness and offering employees help to be with them in these difficult times. So yeah, the book is not a memoir, it's not about my experience, it's about where you are if you have cancer and of course, if you have any other disease, it's also helpful, it works with examples, with techniques, to really address and understand sometimes why I feel this way and what can I do about it. To understand, for example, to give you an example, I talk about loss and grief because when you have cancer, all of a sudden, you have lost who you have been up until now. That's over. That's over.

And so the challenge is not only to face cancer and the diagnosis and the threat of, maybe, I'm going to die. Yeah, that's one. And that's very powerful. At the same time, it's grieving that maybe for the next year, I won't be able to walk my kids to school, or I won't be able to taste good wine, or I won't be able to go to the gym. When we feel that this is major for us, I feel bad because I won't be able to drink wine. For example, we feel ashamed because we think we should worry about others. And we need to learn. Yeah, and even if you talk to someone who hasn't had cancer, they will be like, come on.

Roberto

And then you don't feel seen because you feel shame again.

Teresa

Yeah, and people tend to judge, and we are also very tough on ourselves, and we judge ourselves. So, I learned how to give space to those feelings and embrace even the fear, rage, and sadness, and I knew that it was part of a cycle. It's part of a cycle of the grieving cycle. And at some point, there will be a light, and things will get back to, not to the old normal, to a new one. And part of that work is how you want your new standard to be. And how do you want to be there in that new normal?

Roberto

When you say all of this, I have the feeling that reading this book is not only for people who are going through this but also for those who are not yet going through this or who have someone in their circle who is going through this or is going to do it. Because it gives more language, normalizes some situations, and allows you to see things from different perspectives. So when these things happen, you're not; you can never be prepared for this. At least, I need to prepare. But at least you are more open.

Teresa

Anyone can benefit from those techniques and from that perspective. Yeah, and it will help understand people with cancer. And, of course, every experience is unique. So, the book is not about giving advice—of course, I will never do that. It's about offering the questions and the tools to get to where you want to be, connect with your authentic self, and find your answers.

Roberto

The essence of coaching is that I give you the tools, you are doing the work, and the work is not doing the session; it's outside, it's what you do after that, and how you want to live that, and how do you feel this and then you apply this in your day to day, it's not about giving solutions.

Teresa

Yeah, absolutely. There is one thing that is part of my approach, which is that for me, cancer is not a fight; it's not a battle. And this is a concept that right from the beginning when I got my diagnosis, and they were like, you're a warrior. And there were these hashtags like fuck cancer and things like that. That wasn't helpful for me. And because that wasn't the way I wanted to experience it. So this terminology I'm not using it.

At some point, there is a chapter that covers the hero's journey because we are all heroes. You don't have to go to a battle to be a hero.

So, embracing cancer rather than fighting it, the same as embracing our emotions rather than fighting them, I think, is part of the journey. It's not being happy because we have cancer. That's not what I said. It's embracing what life brings and learning what to do with it.

Roberto

Again, you mentioned choosing. You can always choose what you want to express and how you want to react. And this is beautiful because it also connects with everything in your life. We may lose a person dear to us, our job, something important, a friend or a relationship, or whatever. And this is also, of course, in different contexts, but it's also a loss. We are not the same person anymore, and again, we talk about identity and other things. I'd like to see when the book will come out.

Teresa

That's a great question. Hopefully, it will be ready by next year because we need to go through the revision with the publishers, and if it's before, then fantastic. I'm almost prepared; my part is nearly done.

Roberto

Yeah, I'm sure it will be amazing. I see a lot of this intent and want to share all these things and this awareness and bring more awareness, more common language, and more tools to people. Because you lived it, you saw it in so many people, now it's against the beauty of the books. You can read in two hours, and the experience of a lifetime is multiplied.

Teresa

Roberto, thank you for your words.

Roberto

Now that we are approaching the end of this beautiful conversation, Teresa, I have one more question for you. I would love to know what you want to see more of in the world and what you want to see less of.

Teresa

Great question. More?

Self-kindness and kindness in general. Self-kindness is when we forget more about how we treat ourselves. We are mirrors, so it defines how we want others to treat themselves and treat others.

What do I want to see less? Judgment.

Yeah, and demands.

Yeah, and expectations. Yeah, I could go on another four hours. What about you?

Roberto

Yes. I agree with your last judgment, which you made 100%. The other side of the coin that I would love to see more about is curiosity.

I would love to see more curiosity about people and things and more of letting ourselves be surprised like our children, who are always happy. They're always excited, and they open it. Wow! They teach us so much, and I'm so grateful for that because I've already been a curious person, but more so after having kids because they remind me of this. So I would love to see more of this, and I would love to see our kids and this generation keep this curiosity. They don't have to rediscover it when they are 40 or 30 because we all have it. It's by default.

Teresa

Yes, absolutely. That's super nice. Yeah.

Roberto

Yeah, thank you. And one more thing, of course, before closing. If someone listening to this live or recording wants to connect with you or know more about your project, what's the best way to reach out to you?

Teresa

Email and LinkedIn work very well. People can find me and send me a message. My email address is Teresa at teresaferreiro.com, and my website is teresaferreiro.com. It still needs to be in English. Sorry about that. It's in the process. So, it's on my to-do list as a project manager.

Roberto

OK, thank you. Thank you so much, Teresa, for your time, presence, and generosity and for sharing everything you learn with me and the world. Of course, we need more of this.

Teresa

Okay.

Teresa

Thank you. I want to acknowledge all your work, its importance, and everything you share. You still have so much to do; I want to keep seeing and enjoying it. So thank you for that.

Roberto

Thank you. Thank you to the people connected there and those who spent this wonderful time with us. It was a pleasure again, and I'm sure we'll see you soon. Yeah, OK. So thank you, everyone. Thank you, Teresa. Bye-bye.

Teresa

Thank you, bye-bye.